Ima 2 Eight

Yesterday was my birthday. I turned old.Which is okay. I am lucky to be getting older and only count my blessings.

But I posted on facebook that it was tough to feel celebratory when people are blowing up my country and slitting babies’ throats.  A friend responded that it is “like breaking the glass under the chuppah. You can feel sad and celebrate at the same time.”

That made a lot of sense to me — but just doesn’t feel right. Somehow, I am sad about the Beit Hamikdash which feels so far away; so long ago and so far into the future (may it be tomorrow, B”H) but it doesn’t quite compete with the overwhelming joy in the here and now of a wedding.

But these attacks are here and now, not the distant past. I think this means I have to work on really feeling it when we mourn the Beit Hamikdash at weddings. I am supposed to feel that loss every single day.

But in the meantime, the thought of mourning and celebrating at the same time just doesn’t feel possible.  I also am tired of the helplessness I feel sitting in the US watching and listening to the news. I want to drive to Itamar and pay a shiva call. I want to visit a hospital and look at things that turn my stomach. I want to cook for someone. Anyone.

I always feel so helpful when I cook for someone.

Today in Mommy and Me I asked my Mommies and Mes to dance to “Shalom Al Yisroel” . That felt like a something. Wishing for peace. A very small something.

I hope that as you read this that you have found the best resources out there to learn about and empathize with the daily horrors in Israel this week. But in my feeling of powerlessness, I do want to share with you some of what I feel are important reads on the situation:

1. This: http://unitedwithisrael.org/tamar-fogel-speaks-out/ is an article and video of Tamar Fogel, the 12 year-old who survived her family’s massacre, and her desire to speak to Klal Yisroel.

2. This is a great blog in general. Here, he writes  one Dad’s take on why these attacks really make him so angry. As an Ima, I just relate to this peiece with every cell.  http://www.crossingtheyarden.com/2011/03/toes-terror-and-tears/

3. The One Family Fund has an  updated, accurate list of the wounded and who needs our prayers; http://www.onefamilyfund.org/article.asp?ID=2138.  I wish the organization didn’t need to exist, and that systematic solutions for the post-traumatic-stress disorder of children could be wiped out.  Until that happens, I remain in awe of the work that they do.

PLEASE PLEASE add to this list in the comments if you feel there is something that is missing. Thank G-d I no longer have to rely on American newspapers to know what is going on.

And for any of my friends and readers that are in Israel, feeling scared and angry or G-d forbid have a friend or loved one who has been hurt:

I would cook something for you if I could.  I really would.

Today was father’s day in the US, and I was blessed to spend it this year with my Dad and my husband. This was actually stressful for me, because they are different in a lot of ways, so trying to make sure they are both happy and relaxed at the same time can sometimes be a challenge.

In their honor, I have decided that I would like to post my top ten things I appreciate about them as fathers:

My Dad:

1. Always behaves appropriately.

2. Has a generosity that seems to know no bounds, especially with his family, but with the world as well.

3. Believes on being on time, and shows it.

4. Has spent his life demonstrating that having class and having money aren’t always connected, and that the former is far more important.

5. Has opinions, but has allowed his children to make their own decisions, their own way.

6. Really works at being a role model to my children.

7.  Blesses me at the Shabbos table, even though he didn’t when we were growing up, and usually cries a little when he does it.

8. Has always made other people feel welcome and feel like they matter. This inspired many of my friends growing up to call him “Dad”.

9. Has always instilled in us a belief that family, including extended family, matters.

10.  Still pouts when I go home.

My husband:

1. Has changed over 8,000 poopy diapers in his lifetime (so far), and doesn’t usually let me do so when he is around.

2. Works a full day and then races into a bathing suit (in the summer) and back out of the house to get his kids an hour of swimming in at the pool.

3. He makes up songs, in his second language, for whatever small lesson the kids need to master.

4. Can be incredibly firm with rules, and yet incredibly, incredibly goofy.

5.  Bathes the kids for the first couple of years by climbing into the tub in his bathing suit, so they should get a chance to swim, get used to the water — and I should get a little break.

6. Has committed to all vomit clean-up, and has followed through.

7. Lets the children do brave, hard, scary things.

8.  Has worn all of his kids for the better part of their first 1-2 years of their lives. This has included working on a laptop standing up so the baby can be worn.

9. Has stayed committed, emotionally, financially, and with his time, to his son who doesn’t live in our house. Despite the obstacles, and there are many, he steadfastly gives him as much as he can.

10. Speaks to his children in Hebrew, despite growing up in NYC, so they will master the language. He has given up on stories, jokes, shared cultural references, and sometimes even suffers through bad grammar in English in order to give them this gift.

Happy Father’s Day to you both. I love and appreciate you.