How to Apologize… or Customer Service in the Non Profit World
The customer is always right. We all already know that.
When it isn’t so clear that one party is a “customer” however, it can sometimes get muddy.
Earlier this year I had a meeting at my son’s school. He was the victim of violence in his class. He wasn’t hurt seriously, but he was ganged up on by 10-15 kids TO ONE. Yes, 15-1. On the new kid, the new oleh. When I went into that meeting I thought that I was remarkably calm. I didn’t drag 15 other adults with me to gang up on the staff. I sat respectfully in my chair, and I heard the school out. They said they were sorry………………………… but.
But, they aren’t a private school and they can’t pick and choose who is there.
But, they didn’t know he was having any issues with anyone in his class because he doesn’t complain to them.
But, they didn’t hear from us in the weeks leading up to the incident when there had been verbal taunting.
And you know what? All of those “buts” are true. And that didn’t make one spot of difference to me.
I only heard one thing:
THIS IS AS MUCH YOUR FAULT AS OURS. WE ARE NOT REALLY TAKING RESPONSIBILITY, WE ARE JUST APOLOGIZING TO FIX THIS, TO MAKE IT GO AWAY. THIS IS AS MUCH YOUR FAULT AS OURS.
I recently had to deal with a very disgruntled “customer” who felt very wronged. I then had to deal with a very disgruntled staff member who felt that this was truly not all their fault and proceeded to take partial responsibility and apologize to the “customer”…… but.
And that is what upset the “customer” the most.
Why the quotation marks? In the non-profit world, it is not always easy to know who is a customer.A service recipient? (they aren’t paying for goods or services)Â A donor? (neither are they) A participant? (sometimes they paid, sometimes they didn’t) A participant’s parents? (sometimes they paid and didn’t receive a service) What about a volunteer?
It is my personal approach that the answer is “all of the above”. Especially in the non-profit world, the “customer experience” includes just about everyone who comes in contact with your staff. A positive emotional response to what you do is your primary goal, results in increased membership, donors, participation, etc.
It isn’t always possible, to treat everyone with stellar customer service, or to tell everyone that they are always right, but it certainly is an ideal.
I think the same is true at home. Who is the customer, so to speak? Your spouse? Your parents? Your kids? We all know that everyone would prefer being spoken to nicely. We all know that a happy home makes everyone want to be there more, visit more, give more.
But what if someone is upset at you and you are just 100% certain that it isn’t all your fault? What if you know that if  only THEY had let you get enough sleep, or done their job properly, or come home on time, or stopped using the computer or…. then you would have just been the mother/wife/sister/friend of the year?
I think we all want unequivocal apologies. At work, at play, at home. If you think you could have done better, then say it. No qualifications. For most adults, this isn’t showing unrealistic weakness. Even if one can’t recognize it in the heat of the moment, most of us know that the other person with whom we are upset would have done better if we had let you get sleep or had come home on time or had done our job properly or….
I am sorry and will try do to better or differently is often much harder than it sounds. It is our honor and self image at stake, after all. As if it were ever really about us.
But doesn’t that unequivocal apology make you feel better when you are upset?
I have been on such a long, long hiatus from this blog, and I am hoping this marks the beginning of the end.
I am sorry, and I will try to do better. Â : Â )
A friend had trouble posting her comment here so I am posting it for her:
As someone who has worked in both the for profit and not for profit universe, I can tell you that EVERYONE who works with you ( outside service providers, donors, cleaners, your co-worker’s mother who just called the office to say “hi” that day) is a customer and should be treated as such.
If you work in customer service, you will gain respect by solving the issue at hand and not getting involved in the emotional “small stuff”. That being said, you should ALWAYS validate your customer’s feelings even if you think they are 100% wrong. If you just say something meaningless to shut them up and then pass the buck, you are not going to get anywhere. I know that this sounds harsh and even obvious to some people reading this comment, but I have seen it time and time again.
I was once told by a former employer that I he respected me because I “…receive constructive criticism well and I apologize sincerely and fully when I make a mistake”. He told me that the context was that he was called as a reference by someone who had interviewed me for my next job. I got the job shortly thereafter.
A little humility and some sensitivity goes a long way. Thanks for reminding us of that!
Marna Becker
http://www.jbnf.org
If you also have trouble posting comments, please tell me! I want to work out the technical glitches. Please send me an email to ima2seven at gmail dot com, and I will look into it. Thanks!
In my opinion, if a person makes a mistake at work (be it in the for-profit or non-profit world), it is best just to apologize and say, “I will take this as a learning experience, and it will not happen again”. Even if you feel that you can somehow justify the mistake, I agree that people do not want to hear the justifications; the “but’s”. I think owning up to the mistake shows maturity, and if you can use it as a learning experience, the mistake shouldn’t happen again.
Chava Ashkenazi
http://nonprofitmusingsblog.wordpress.com/